I dipped in to some of the Johnny Depp v Amber Heard libel trial and I have seen lots of comments about it, mainly on social media. And I’ve been shocked by how seemingly everyone is so firmly either on one side or the other – though mainly on the side of JD. Personally I’m not sure it’s quite that black or white.
Whilst there is no doubt that many men are victims of abuse by their female partners, I doubt that Johnny Depp is one of them. Or, if he was abused by his wife, I do not believe that means he wasn’t abusive to her. (Although I have been told that mutual abuse is not possible.) I have had many male clients over the years who have been abused but none behave in anything like the way Johnny Depp does. Okay, none of them are rich and famous and they wouldn’t be able to afford the drink and drug crazed life style that Johnny Depp has. And it’s admittedly a very small sample of abused men that I see. But none of them are abusive, vindictive or vile about their exes or want ‘global humiliation’ for them. On the contrary, they are kind, loving men who continue to speak respectfully about their exes, and I’m often surprised by how restrained they are considering what they’ve been through. I cannot imagine for one moment that any of them would talk about “fucking her burnt corpse” or any of the other vile things Johnny Depp has said (but hopefully one or more of them will correct me if I’m wrong about this). I’d say the men are maybe a little more restrained than my abused female clients but otherwise they behave in very much the same way.
The star-struck Johnny Depp fans say Amber Heard is lying. I’m sure she did lie about some things. Victims do lie, right from the outset: “I fell down the stairs and hit my head, it looks a lot worse than it is, I’m fine”, “I’m sorry I can’t make our girls night out – I know it’s been in the diary for months and I can’t imagine how I got the date wrong”, “She didn’t mean it, she’s under a lot of stress at work.” Victims lie because they’re ashamed, they lie to protect themselves, they lie to protect their children and many lie to protect the perpetrator. But none of this means they are lying about the abuse when they finally feel able to disclose it. Though it does mean they are not the ‘perfect victim’, who is expected to do no wrong.
The trauma suffered by ‘imperfect victims’ from the abuse can affect their memory so they tend to get details and dates wrong and can be accused of being unreliable witnesses. And some victims do sometimes fight back when the abuse and the lies get too much for them.
It was suggested that Amber Heard has borderline and histrionic personality disorders. It’s possible that she does: she did have an abusive childhood and maybe she did lash out at her husband at times. And she did throw her own lawyers under a bus during the trial rather than face criticism herself when it was pointed out that she had failed to put some of her documents into evidence. I suspect most people wouldn’t do that (but on the other hand if you’re paying your lawyers that much maybe they should be expected to take it on the chin!). It’s equally possible that Amber Heard suffers from PTSD – either from her childhood, or from Johnny Depp’s abuse, or both. Or she may have been defending herself when she got physical with him.
Johnny Depp has admitted to being a monster when intoxicated and the episodes where he caused such damage and destruction sounded so terrifying that it’s hard to imagine his wife was never abused during them. His language alone was abusive.
Rather than taking pictures of her own injuries she tried to help him, to get him into detox, and she took photos of him when he had passed out etc to show him that he had a problem. Lots of victims are ‘rescuers’ so this is not unusual or surprising behaviour.
A crucial factor to consider in these ‘toxic’ or ‘high conflict’ relationships is where the balance of power lies. Johnny Depp was twice Amber Heard’s age when they met, he already had a very successful career and huge wealth. And he had the power to help or hinder her career. In fact he did not want her to act as he told her he was jealous when she was filming. So which one of them had the greater ability to control and abuse the other?
These sound like the words of a typical victim to me: “I have to relive this every single day that I have to address those claims,” Amber Heard said in her emotional testimony. “Over and over again, the most intimate, embarrassing, deeply humiliating and personal things that I have survived are used against me every day. It’s torture. I’m in so much pain emotionally. I just wanted him to leave me alone, I wanted to move on with my life and he won’t let me.”
But of course we have to remember that they are both good actors which is another reason that I can’t be as confident as everyone else seems to be as to where all the truth lies.
Johnny Depp has accused Amber Heard of ruining his life but it seems to me that the opposite is true. He was known for being unprofessional, turning up late and drunk and being difficult to work with. And now we know far far worse about him due to his own choice of bringing libel actions against The Sun here, as well as against his ex-wife in the US. The Judge in our High Court libel trial found 12 of the 14 incidents of domestic abuse alleged against him to be “substantially true” so The Sun was justified in calling Johnny Depp a ‘wife beater’.
JD’s uncritically adoring fans were inside and outside the court every day of the six week US trial as well as on the day judgement was given when Depp himself didn’t bother to show up. He was too busy over here performing with Jeff Beck. Johnny Depp was the last person I wanted to see during my evening at the Royal Albert Hall: we’d waited two years to see Jeff Beck who was amazing. Johnny Depp not so much, though there was no evidence to suggest that his mediocre performance was down to his injured finger. But he got a rapturous applause from the audience with shouts of “we love you Johnny” and his mere presence rather eclipsed Jeff Beck’s brilliant performance. This was just a few days after the US trial concluded and JD appeared not to be confident of winning as he was still dressed like a pirate. Pictures I’ve seen since the judgement show that he has been able to afford some new clothes!
Meanwhile Amber Heard had little if any support and on the contrary was suffering further abuse and hatred in the media and on social media courtesy of JD and his team and fans flooding it with fake information.
What is clear is that this trial should not have been televised for the whole world to watch like a soap opera. It has made fame and fortune for the lawyers with estimated legal costs of several million dollars.
But it’s not over yet. Apart from Amber Heard’s possible appeal, another trial is due to begin on 25 July, though it won’t be televised. Johnny Depp is being sued for damages in a personal injury claim by a crew member for allegedly punching him twice in the ribs whilst on set in 2017. There’s no smoke without fire ….
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