Divorce Consultant Diana Jordan
Back in the 1980s, when I was a newly qualified solicitor, a client came to me for a divorce. She told me that she and her husband were agreed about everything and asked if he could he come to me too. It was with a heavy heart that I told her that our legal system would not permit that. I knew that as soon as he went to another solicitor the chances of them remaining agreed were extremely slim.
Time after time in my years as a solicitor, I witnessed the impact of our adversarial legal system on divorcing couples and their children – with the children bearing the brunt of the emotional cost.
As a member of the Law Society Children Panel, I witnessed our slow and costly adversarial legal system failing children: both the ones being taken into care, as well as those subject to residence and contact applications. All this left me saddened and frustrated by the way in which the legal system let families down. I stopped working as a solicitor and trained as a life coach.
I now combine both skills, together with my understanding of personal and spiritual development, in my role as a Divorce Consultant. In this way I am able to provide legal information and to help my clients to manage the changes in their lives.
As a member of Resolution (www.resolution.org.uk) I am committed to their code of practice and to the ethics of coaching practice. Through my continual professional development I ensure I have a variety of tools and strategies, because not everyone needs to receive support in the same way.
As a Divorce Consultant I’m delighted that I can see both husbands and wives, either separately or together. It is rewarding to be able to help them gain new perspectives – as well as to avoid the emotionally and financially ruinous pitfalls created by our legal system.
I encourage people to work through their divorce in a different way to that traditionally done by solicitors and I wrote my book “A Better Way of Dealing with Divorce: A guide for parents who want to keep out of court, and save their money and sanity” to provide a guide to this way of doing things, as well as an easy to read manual of how it all works.
However, since my book was published I’ve had only clients who are divorcing narcissists – the very opposite of the amicable divorces I was focused on. It feels as if the Universe has decided that people having an amicable divorce can read the book, and my time is better spent helping people having the most difficult of divorces or challenging children proceedings.
My next book will be called ‘How to Divorce a Narcissist’ but I don’t yet have all the answers. This abuse is not recognised in our secret family courts and dreadful decisions are being made which are terribly damaging to children and the victims of abuse. Hopefully the tide is beginning to turn and people are beginning to become aware of what is going on.
Please read some of my blog posts for more information about all of this.
You might also be interested in reading the ‘Legal Structure of Divorce’ a two-minute guide to divorce proceedings.