Do you need to do Grey Rock? If you’re parenting with a narcissist and are unhappy with the way your communication goes, doing grey rock could be really helpful. A narcissist cannot connect healthily with other people and relies instead on ‘narcissistic supply’ to fulfil their needs. Common forms of narcissistic supply are: Attention Compliments and

C100: application for a child arrangements order C1A: information about allegations of harm or domestic abuse Divorce Form D8 Form A: application for a financial order Form E: financial statement Form H: estimate of costs for financial remedy cases only Court forms do get easier every time they are rewritten, so these days most of

Mothers who report domestic abuse are frequently disbelieved by both Cafcass and the courts, and their children are forced into contact with fathers they may be terrified of. Mothers can lose the children they are trying to protect because when they spell out the dangers the children face they are accused of parental alienation and

Sadly, keeping their files safe (see previous post) isn’t the only thing the family court can’t be trusted to do these days.  Children and abused parents are not safe in the family court either and there is to be a protest in Parliament Square on Saturday 26th October from 12 noon until 4 pm. Please

Mr P was divorced in 1997. When he wanted to marry again 21 years later he couldn’t find his decree absolute so he wrote to Willesden County Court to ask for a copy. Courts are supposed to keep divorce files for 18 years, after which most of the contents are destroyed but key documents, including

Parents are occasionally told by social or Cafcass workers, or even their lawyers, to ‘play the game’.  Not surprisingly, they are usually horrified to hear their trauma of going through the family court called a game.  Worse still, no-one ever tells them the rules of the game. If you’re going through court it’s always best

It’s like being caught in a net under water.  You just have to stop struggling and stay very still, and eventually you float back to the top Sarah, a family law solicitor, told me her story which is sadly typical of many I hear and confirms my view that what I call “child power” is

    Last week was a big one for those of us desperate for change in the family courts. I hope you saw at least some of the exposure of how the courts are failing both children and parents. On Wednesday, Victoria Derbyshire devoted her whole show to the problem of domestic abuse not being

A child’s security can be shaken when their parents separate, so they need firm boundaries to be maintained in order to feel safe. And if your ex has any narcissistic tendencies you will need to set very firm boundaries with them. Boundary setting can be a challenge: when you’re tired, overwhelmed or pre-occupied it’s easier

Although coercive control became a criminal offence in December 2015, I’ve struggled with the meaning of it.  As it’s been in the news again with Sally Challen’s successful appeal against her conviction for murdering her controlling husband, I decided to revisit it.  I’ve found that the definition of the crime is repeatedly or continuously engaging

  I’ve had a few disgruntled clients recently and I don’t blame them for being angry and frustrated. None of us like to think someone’s pulled a fast one on us and perhaps they weren’t expecting it to happen in a court of law. Here are a few tips to help you wise-up if you’re considering

The Supreme Court has told Tini Owens (68) that she must remain married to Mr Owens (80) until 2020 despite his “authoritarian, demeaning and humiliating conduct”. Poor Mrs Owens. But of course Mrs Owens is far from poor. Mr Owens is not the first husband who has wanted to oppose his wife’s application for divorce,

The short answer to this question is usually ‘yes’ When a divorce or separation is difficult children’s holidays abroad with one parent can be contentious although one would always hope a parent would not want to deprive their children of a holiday or travel experience. It is always reasonable to expect the other parent to

I knew that things weren’t what they used to be in the family courts, but I have been shocked to discover just how bad it’s become, how loving and caring mothers are being penalised and demonised, and children forced to have contact, or live, with abusive fathers. I’ve recently come across this group of mothers

The stress of Christmas followed by a new year inviting a new start or a ‘new you’ results in a big increase in enquiries to solicitors about divorce. Of course the problems started the year before, or maybe ten years before, but no-one wants to think about splitting up before Christmas. At the start of

It was gripping but not easy viewing and I did feel a bit wrung out by the end! Even though credibility was stretched at times, the series did graphically illustrate what can so easily happen to the children when one of the parties to a break-up is a narcissist. For those who didn’t watch, Tom

Claire Throssel was on Woman’s Hour last week explaining how her two children, aged 12 and 9, were murdered by their father when he set fire to their home.  He was a bully, the boys were scared of him and they didn’t want to see him.  But the court had ordered five hours of unsupervised

I always enjoy Graham Norton’s problem page in the Saturday Telegraph and his reply to this week’s ‘Letter of the Week’ was spot on: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/wellbeing/graham-nortons-advice/graham-norton-help-advice-divorce-marriage-wife-husband/ The writer had spent an eye-watering £300,000 and counting on legal fees and was nowhere near a settlement as his wife wanted the matrimonial home to be sold and the