Do you need to do Grey Rock? If you’re parenting with a narcissist and are unhappy with the way your communication goes, doing grey rock could be really helpful. A narcissist cannot connect healthily with other people and relies instead on ‘narcissistic supply’ to fulfil their needs. Common forms of narcissistic supply are: Attention Compliments and

By |December 29th, 2019|0 Comments

Family Court Protest – Please join us this Saturday

Mothers who report domestic abuse are frequently disbelieved by both Cafcass and the courts, and their children are forced into contact with fathers they may be terrified of. Mothers can lose the children they are trying to protect because when they spell out the dangers the children face they are accused of parental alienation and

By |October 25th, 2019|0 Comments

One has to laugh, but is your DA safe?

Mr P was divorced in 1997. When he wanted to marry again 21 years later he couldn’t find his decree absolute so he wrote to Willesden County Court to ask for a copy. Courts are supposed to keep divorce files for 18 years, after which most of the contents are destroyed but key documents, including

By |September 25th, 2019|0 Comments

How to win in the family court (part 2): Play the Game

Parents are occasionally told by social or Cafcass workers, or even their lawyers, to ‘play the game’.  Not surprisingly, they are usually horrified to hear their trauma of going through the family court called a game.  Worse still, no-one ever tells them the rules of the game. If you’re going through court it’s always best

By |August 29th, 2019|0 Comments

Divorce Poison

Divorce poison Parental alienation is a big - and controversial – topic and I can only scratch the surface here.  The term Parental Alienation Syndrome was first coined by Dr Richard Gardner, a (controversial) American child psychiatrist, back in the 1970s.  Almost 50 years on we still can’t agree on what it is or what

Who’s crossing your boundaries?

A child’s security can be shaken when their parents separate, so they need firm boundaries to be maintained in order to feel safe. And if your ex has any narcissistic tendencies you will need to set very firm boundaries with them. Boundary setting can be a challenge: when you’re tired, overwhelmed or pre-occupied it’s easier

By |April 26th, 2019|0 Comments

Do you understand coercive control?

Although coercive control became a criminal offence in December 2015, I’ve struggled with the meaning of it.  As it’s been in the news again with Sally Challen’s successful appeal against her conviction for murdering her controlling husband, I decided to revisit it.  I’ve found that the definition of the crime is repeatedly or continuously engaging

By |March 27th, 2019|1 Comment

Have you seen Ellie Yarrow-Sanders?

I hope not.  I was aware from Facebook that Ellie disappeared last July with her three year old son Olly but I had not been following the story.  When I saw the Transparency Project had written an article I decided to find out what it was about, knowing that this would be the most unbiased

By |January 21st, 2019|0 Comments

Poor Mrs Owens

The Supreme Court has told Tini Owens (68) that she must remain married to Mr Owens (80) until 2020 despite his “authoritarian, demeaning and humiliating conduct”. Poor Mrs Owens. But of course Mrs Owens is far from poor. Mr Owens is not the first husband who has wanted to oppose his wife’s application for divorce,

By |August 14th, 2018|0 Comments

Can my ex stop me taking our children abroad?

The short answer to this question is usually ‘yes’ When a divorce or separation is difficult children’s holidays abroad with one parent can be contentious although one would always hope a parent would not want to deprive their children of a holiday or travel experience. It is always reasonable to expect the other parent to

What’s gone so wrong in the family court?

I knew that things weren’t what they used to be in the family courts, but I have been shocked to discover just how bad it’s become, how loving and caring mothers are being penalised and demonised, and children forced to have contact, or live, with abusive fathers. I’ve recently come across this group of mothers

By |March 20th, 2018|0 Comments

Beware: it’s Divorce Day!

The stress of Christmas followed by a new year inviting a new start or a ‘new you’ results in a big increase in enquiries to solicitors about divorce. Of course the problems started the year before, or maybe ten years before, but no-one wants to think about splitting up before Christmas. At the start of

By |January 7th, 2018|0 Comments

Father murdered his boys

Claire Throssel was on Woman’s Hour last week explaining how her two children, aged 12 and 9, were murdered by their father when he set fire to their home.  He was a bully, the boys were scared of him and they didn’t want to see him.  But the court had ordered five hours of unsupervised

By |November 9th, 2015|0 Comments

Good advice from Agony Uncle

I always enjoy Graham Norton’s problem page in the Saturday Telegraph and his reply to this week’s ‘Letter of the Week’ was spot on: The writer had spent an eye-watering £300,000 and counting on legal fees and was nowhere near a settlement as his wife wanted the matrimonial home to be sold and the

By |November 9th, 2015|0 Comments