A Better Way of Dealing with Divorce:
A guide for parents who want to keep out of court, and save their money and sanity
Information is power in separation and divorce. The better informed you are, the more in control you’ll feel.
Unfortunately, the legal system in England and Wales is complicated and adversarial, meaning many couples end up in court when they don’t want or need to. A Better Way of Dealing with Divorce: A guide for parents who want to keep out of court, and save their money and sanity sets out a cheaper, easier and more amicable way to divorce – without going to court.
Packed with helpful tips and real-life case studies, this book includes:
- Where to start and how divorce really works
- What solicitors won’t tell you
- How to ride the emotional roller coaster
- Things you can do yourself to save money on legal fees
- How to support your children, and agree custody and co-parenting arrangements
- What to do about money, property and pensions
- How to manage extreme scenarios like parental alienation and narcissistic personality disorder
- The truth about common divorce myths
Diana Jordan is a former solicitor and member of the Law Society Children Panel, with over 30 years’ experience in family law. She now works as a divorce consultant, helping couples and individuals tackle divorce in a less adversarial and costly way, with the emphasis on getting the best outcomes for their children.
(If you’re looking for the simple step-by-step guide to doing it all yourself which is mentioned in the book – it will be available to purchase here soon).
Listen to the author talking about the book in these podcasts
Brooklands Radio Just Women show
Nigel Cassidy podcast
Obtaining a divorce in this country still frequently requires reliance on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Campaigns for a no-fault divorce have been rejected by politicians who feel the public will not tolerate ‘divorce on demand’. Yet anyone with inside knowledge is aware that, although the divorce process is cumbersome, if it is properly followed, divorce is available for all who desire it.
The superficially adversarial process of obtaining the divorce itself is inconsistent with the drive by government to encourage divorcing couples to avoid conflict and seek agreements about their children and finances without using the courts at all. This book addresses this contradiction head on and helps provide signposts to achieve this.
The book is a survival guide for those contemplating or going through a divorce. It does not provide all the answers but does give some essential guidance not found elsewhere in a no-nonsense, easy-to-access style. A great deal of practical advice is provided on how to keep costs down. As a judge, I saw many divorcing couples painfully realising too late that far too much of their resources had been spent on legal costs arguing over issues which were never worth disputing.
There is real understanding of the emotional upheaval that the process causes and ideas on how to weather the storms. It is written by a lawyer who has insight into the needs of the divorcing client and not just for legal advice. It is something to read in full as a pathway, but also as a book of nuggets to look over when the going gets tough. Although it will be useful for anyone undertaking this painful process, its emphasis on putting children first will help a parent minimise the damage to their children, and ultimately themselves, as they navigate the choppy waters of marriage break-up.
Susannah Walker – Retired Judge of the Central Family Court, London
Reviews of ‘A Better Way of Dealing with Divorce’
I love the understandable and down to earth writing style of this book. It manages to cover a lot, and some of the hard truths as well.
Mrs GB, Sussex
I found this book a very easy read and liked the way it was laid out. It gave me hope in my situation where I am beginning the process of divorcing my husband after a two year separation. After my initial meeting with a solicitor I felt a mixture of hope, yet unease. I went there to discuss sorting out the financial arrangements for me and my two young children but instead spent most of the meeting talking about divorce, which I was not ready to do.
I did not move forward as it still did not feel the natural process or right direction for me and I felt frustrated, unsettled and upset about this. Then I read this book. It spoke to me and made so much sense and helped me push forward in the direction I originally wanted to go.
It actually made me cry with the realisation that there is another approach to my situation and I can do/deal with things in a different way, so thank you. As a result I have approached a mediator to try and help me/us sort out the financial matters between me and my husband. This is my utmost priority as I have two young children to look after. This book has helped me to see and navigate myself forward and put my solicitor on hold for the time being.
I found the case studies refreshing and could relate to a number of them. This has helped me rationalize things in my own head, reducing some of the constant anxiety I currently feel.
This book has made me feel and think differently and I would encourage others to read it, especially those who are unsure of the right process or order of things for them.
Mrs CE, Surrey
I started reading the extreme scenarios chapter but it was so close to home on the description of what he is like I have had to leave it until I am at home to read; otherwise I will be engrossed (and in tears) in the office.
I never knew narcissistic personality disorder existed before. I always thought I was being crazy and over sensitive or worse – he was right and I am mentally ill. Reading this and knowing that someone understands my struggle has given me the reassurance that I am not going crazy and that I need to protect my daughter above all else.
Ms ZR, Cheshire
This wonderful book really touches on things that are important from all angles. The legal stuff makes absolute sense, and the stories help to give greater understanding to the emotional fall out. After all, that is the hardest part with children to consider.
Mrs SC, Surrey
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A Better Way of Dealing with Divorce: A guide for parents who want to keep out of court, and save their money and sanity
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