Books by Diana Jordan
How to Divorce a Narcissist and Succeed in the Family Court
Paperback Sold Out,
PDF Still Available
My own stock has sold out, but paperback copies are still available from Waterstones, Amazon, etc
or, you can buy the book as an instant .pdf download for £8.99
Or
This eye-opening book sheds light on the secret family court, where the rights of abusive parents are often prioritised over the safety of children. Inside you’ll find practical advice to help you get through court proceedings, manage the narcissist’s behaviour and mitigate its effects on you and your children.
Learn how to:
- Recognise narcissistic abuse and coercive, controlling behaviour
- Deal with the narcissist without losing your sanity – including negotiating, setting boundaries, communicating, and more
- Build a compelling log of evidence against the narcissist
- Counter the narcissist’s bad parenting and protect your children from further abuse
- Spot the signs of parental alienation and take action
- Navigate the brutal family court system and its culture of ‘contact at all costs’ – with or without a lawyer
- Give evidence in court hearings
With both shocking and inspiring stories from survivors who’ve been through the family court, this is a must-read for anyone who is leaving (or thinking of leaving) a narcissist.
How to Divorce a Narcissist – Full Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION:
What to expect from this book
Is there gender bias in the family court (and in this book)?
Carol’s story
CHAPTER 1:
Recognising the narcissist’s abuse
The different types of abuse
Narcissistic supply (or what fuels the narcissist)
How the abuser operates (watch and learn!)
Love bombing, devalue, discard
The outside charm vs the inside horror (Jekyll and Hyde)
Isolation
Communication welcome to the world of ‘narc speak’
The lies
Gaslighting
Reviews of ‘How to Divorce a Narcissist’
Totally unmissable for anyone thinking about divorcing someone who is self-centred, and shows controlling tendencies. Are they a narcissist? Who knows. But if you have any doubt, get the book. Get it when you are starting to think about leaving, as you need to be prepared from the start if you want to get out in one piece on the other side.
I have shared key learnings from the book with my parents and best friends, which is invaluable. Jointly we can see he is not a bad person, and jointly we can spot he is applying narcissistic strategies that are very different from the average person who divorces. Being able to see them, means you can respond to them in the right way and stay focussed on the best outcome for your children and yourself. I don’t know what I would have done without it.
Sheila Rozen
This book is essential reading if you’re going through a challenging divorce – whether with a narcissist or not – for both the emotional and the practical support. It’s an invaluable tool to get you through a difficult journey.
The family court is such an alien world to parents, and understanding the dynamics of court, and how your own emotions play out there, is so important. I didn’t realise until I read this book that I had suffered PTSD from my relationship, it helped a lot fall into place for me. It’s such an emotionally traumatic journey with someone who is unpredictable, and when you’re in it, it’s so distressing and scary in the moment that you can’t work out what’s going on or what to do. You’re also trying to fire-fight a lot, not really understanding what you need to do. I had to be emotionally controlled and it’s so hard, but the book explains that to you and helps you.
Understanding the relationship with a narcissist is so complicated, but the book explains the nuances of narcissists really clearly and how to deal with the narcissist on a non-emotional level.
I didn’t understand the court process at all, the language and the paperwork is so complicated but the book explains it in a practical way eg when it talks about writing a letter it literally says write this.
You are so exhausted as a parent you don’t have the capacity to register it all and to be able to hold all the information and you can’t even deal with your own emotions. I went into survival mode with no idea what was coming round the corner at any moment. All the unknown things, like phoning the court, it’s hard work and you have to be on it the whole time, as I was representing myself (litigant in person) you’re the one who has to make things happen. It’s exhausting. The book sets out the process from paperwork to court procedure so it’s easier to understand. It’s still hard work but at least you know what you have to do and when so it makes it less stressful, it’s like a friend holding your hand through it all.
The idea of going to court and being judged on your life or the way you parent is terrifying! The book helps demystify this unknown world and explains how to deal with the judge when you’re a litigant in person. I want judges and lawyers to read this book because if they don’t understand it all goes wrong. My judge believed his lies and she dismissed all his medical evidence saying: ‘you’ve obviously changed your ways’, she didn’t understand at all. She judged me as a mum who was not letting him see his child, which was not the case at all but in court I was dithered in my answers because I was really stressed and he’s such a good actor and charmed his way through court hearings. He told himself his lies so much he believed them, and that he could be that character he was trying to be, but the truth is he is not and underneath he is devious and had that narcissists’ victim mentality.
The book is like your friend, it’s amazingly good for people who are confused and scared and the family court is such a scary place to be. Whether you need help understanding your own emotions or a practical aid, it’s an essential tool to guide you through one of the toughest times in your life. Buy it now and good luck!
Jacqui Brown
This book is so valuable to me as I had no idea of how to deal with my ex’s application to the family court, where to start or how to cope at such a hard time in my life. It is giving me inner strength, confidence, and an understanding of the whole process of identifying a narcissist – the description of a sociopath is my ex to a tee!
It has answered many questions I had whirling around my mind, from reasons why you should focus on proving your allegations rather than defending your ex’s counter-allegations, to much appreciated tips like remaining poker faced and giving short, factual, clear cut answers during fact find hearings.
I have recognised and related to many incidences throughout this book giving many ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhhs’ along the way. This book prepares you for what may lie ahead and helps get you to the other side with your head held high.
Anna Gordon
At last! A fully comprehensive and practical guide which pulls back the curtain on the dark world of narcissism. Nobody wants to believe that not all parents are loving and kind. However, it’s a brutal truth that needs to be faced if children and victims of narcissistic abuse are to get the justice they deserve. Diana gets to the heart of the matter using real examples of families that have been deceived, destroyed and left broken hearted at the hands of the narcissist. She also does a superb job of accurately describing the never-ending nightmare of confusion and pain faced by children who grow up with disordered parent. People just wouldn’t believe it unless they’d experienced it! It’s crazy-making.
It’s tragic that children of narcissists are never allowed to be themselves. Early intervention – therapy or mentoring is advisable so they don’t have to spend their whole life untangling the mess and working out who they really are. Children marinate in the energy created between their two parents which after divorce shifts and changes. When you throw a narcissist in to the mix, it’s more of a toxic soup. Denial is rife in these family systems, that’s why children ignore their thoughts, feelings, needs, desires and own reality to keep themselves safe. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but more importantly, these children will benefit from being surrounded by a few healthy adults and good role models.
In my experience, these children seek unconditional love, validation, clarity and understanding. Believe them when they tell you it’s real. They have been invalidated their whole lives. They will also need help with their emotions which have been repeatedly and consistently hidden, suppressed or shamed. It takes time to switch on their intuition and hear their own inner voice. This prevents them from repeating old patterns when it comes choosing close friendships or future life partners.
Narcissism needs to be taught and I’m hopeful that Diana’s brilliant and well-thought out book will go a long way to educating the world about this complex and shocking subject. She gives you knowledge, evidence, practical advice and lots of excellent tips that will keep you sane and protect your children.
Lisa Parkes, Life Coach for Teens
Buy the .pdf download – £8.99
Payments are securely processed using PayPal, but you don’t need a PayPal account, simply choose to ‘check out as a guest’ and use any major debit or credit card.
£4.99 (including P&P) for the paperback,
or £2.99 as a .pdf download.
Or
Information is power in separation and divorce. The better informed you are, the more in control you’ll feel.
Unfortunately, the legal system in England and Wales is complicated and adversarial, meaning many couples end up in court when they don’t want or need to. A Better Way of Dealing with Divorce: A guide for parents who want to keep out of court, and save their money and sanity sets out a cheaper, easier and more amicable way to divorce – without going to court.
Packed with helpful tips and real-life case studies, this book includes:
- Where to start and how divorce really works
- What solicitors won’t tell you
- How to ride the emotional roller coaster
- Things you can do yourself to save money on legal fees
- How to support your children, and agree custody and co-parenting arrangements
- What to do about money, property and pensions
- How to manage extreme scenarios like parental alienation and narcissistic personality disorder
- The truth about common divorce myths
Diana Jordan is a former solicitor and member of the Law Society Children Panel, with over 30 years’ experience in family law.
Listen to the author talking about the book in these podcasts
Brooklands Radio Just Women show
Nigel Cassidy podcast
Foreword by Susannah Walker – Retired Judge of the Central Family Court, London
Obtaining a divorce in this country still frequently requires reliance on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Campaigns for a no-fault divorce have been rejected by politicians who feel the public will not tolerate ‘divorce on demand’. Yet anyone with inside knowledge is aware that, although the divorce process is cumbersome, if it is properly followed, divorce is available for all who desire it.
Reviews of ‘A Better Way of Dealing with Divorce’
I love the understandable and down to earth writing style of this book. It manages to cover a lot, and some of the hard truths as well.
Mrs GB, Sussex
I found this book a very easy read and liked the way it was laid out. It gave me hope in my situation where I am beginning the process of divorcing my husband after a two year separation. After my initial meeting with a solicitor I felt a mixture of hope, yet unease. I went there to discuss sorting out the financial arrangements for me and my two young children but instead spent most of the meeting talking about divorce, which I was not ready to do.
I did not move forward as it still did not feel the natural process or right direction for me and I felt frustrated, unsettled and upset about this. Then I read this book. It spoke to me and made so much sense and helped me push forward in the direction I originally wanted to go.
It actually made me cry with the realisation that there is another approach to my situation and I can do/deal with things in a different way, so thank you. As a result I have approached a mediator to try and help me/us sort out the financial matters between me and my husband. This is my utmost priority as I have two young children to look after. This book has helped me to see and navigate myself forward and put my solicitor on hold for the time being.
I found the case studies refreshing and could relate to a number of them. This has helped me rationalize things in my own head, reducing some of the constant anxiety I currently feel.
This book has made me feel and think differently and I would encourage others to read it, especially those who are unsure of the right process or order of things for them.
Mrs CE, Surrey
I started reading the extreme scenarios chapter but it was so close to home on the description of what he is like I have had to leave it until I am at home to read; otherwise I will be engrossed (and in tears) in the office.
I never knew narcissistic personality disorder existed before. I always thought I was being crazy and over sensitive or worse – he was right and I am mentally ill. Reading this and knowing that someone understands my struggle has given me the reassurance that I am not going crazy and that I need to protect my daughter above all else.
Ms ZR, Cheshire
This wonderful book really touches on things that are important from all angles. The legal stuff makes absolute sense, and the stories help to give greater understanding to the emotional fall out. After all, that is the hardest part with children to consider.
Mrs SC, Surrey
Now reduced as since publication the law has changed and chapter 7 about the divorce petition is out of date. We now only have ‘no fault’ divorce, the petition is renamed application and it’s a simple process to do yourself online.
Other changes since publication include amicable.io which is an excellent service for couples separating amicably. And some solicitors are now offering a ‘one couple one solicitor service’ too.
The rest of the book is still accurate to the best of my knowledge.
Last few copies of the paperback now available for £4.99 (including postage and packing for UK mainland destinations).
For multiple copies, or posting to non-UK mainland destinations, please email diana@dealingwithdivorce.co.uk, or send a message through the contact page.
Items will be usually dispatched within 3 working days from the receipt of your order.
Alternatively, you can buy a .pdf version for immediate download for £2.99.
Buy the paperback – £4.99
Buy the .pdf download – £2.99
Payments are securely processed using PayPal, but you don’t need a PayPal account, simply choose to ‘check out as a guest’ and use any major debit or credit card.